Austria is obviously a very power-full country. The whole world is already drinking Red Bull which was founded by Austrian Dietrich Mateschitz - although I'm not sure which tiny percentage of the world is aware of this fact. What a disgrace. But one brave man and patriot set out to fight for a change in this deplorable situation. And thus a new star has been born on the powerful sky of energy drinks. Forget about Red Bull! Long live "Frank's"!

"Frank's Energy drink" has just been introduced by Austro-Canadian tycoon Frank Stronach. According to the drink's web-page he "came from Austria to Canada with nothing more than a few hundred dollars and a dream to own his own business. Blessed with tremendous natural energy, Frank built his business from scratch, working seventeen hours a day, seven days a week. That business is today one of the largest automotive manufacturers in the world..." (source) The American Dream Made in Canada.

And now Stronach obviously wants to give a bit of "authentic Austrian energy" (as the drink promises) to those Canadians who are unlike himself not blessed with "tremendous natural energy" by virtue of Austrian heritage. Speaking about heritage, "Frank's" marketing philosophy obviously also includes the promotion of knowledge about Austrian history and culture.

I beg you, please check out the webpage:

"Frank's Energy Drink. Authentic Austrian Energy".



My first sentiment?

Ohhhh. Myyyy. Gooood.

Are you kidding me? When I first went to the page I thought it was a satire! This is utterly, entirely ridiculous! If Sunday hadn't passed I'd be convinced this was an April Fool's joke and I'm still not entirely convinced that soon it will be announced everything was just a publicity joke. I mean seriously. This just can not be meant seriously! No. No. No.

I start with the most intrusive element: Sound. Don't forget to turn on speakers before opening the page! The initial yodel. The accordion. The disco beat. In a word: trash! And then this senseless pseudo sexy lyrics with traces of a fake accent "säx siben akt neun ... ausentic Austrian energy". Trash, worst trash (although admittedly not much worse than some things appearing in our charts). Keeps you yodeling all night? I advise you to make a seld-experiment: Open Frank's page and then try to keep on surfing while this song is infinitely repeated in the background. Wow, truly addictive! I can already feel the ausentic Austrian energy in me - which urges me to smash my computer and escape back to my mountain hut where I can live in peaceful harmony with chicken, pigs and goats.

But as much as the page is a questionable pleasure for your ears, as much it is for your eyes. Thanks to the Energy girls, Gretl, Liesl, Heidi, and four others. That idea is so welcoming and personal. Have you noticed, when you move with the curser on their picture they sort of dance for you. How sexy! I must have this drink! But of course it would be superficial and sexist just to stare at these girls. Thank goodness you can also get to know them better, by clicking on their picture. Liesl's favourite Austrian is Arnold Schwarzenegger for example. Heidi's boyfriend calls her little Zwetschgenknoedel (plum dumpling). Sophia loves Apple strudel, "Rock Me Amadeus", and Kitzbühel. Sweet.

But personally I prefer those two girls that are not only good looking but also intelligent and educated. On the one hand Margretta, who is wearing a black dress instead of Lederhosen: Her favourite movie is "Not The Sound of Music! That is so stereotypical." Haha. Thank goodness loving Wiener Schnitzel and playing accordion (girly, it's accordion not accordian) all night long is not stereotypical. And on the other hand Katia who clearly has a vision. What she longs for? "Mostly world peace and the end of climate change. Sometimes, I long for the return of the Hapsburg Dynasty." Katia, Katia. As a true Austrian you should know that the return of the Habsburg Dynasty actually equals world peace. But that's OK. I can give you some private lessons in Austrian ausenticy!

Seriously, I'd die for representing Austria on Frank's page as well. Yet there's a pressing question on my mind: The girls are wearing lederhosen, so if Energy boys are introduced, will they be wearing Dirndl dresses?

Anyway, I stop this rant now.

As a conclusion one thing is undeniable: We Austrians certainly have a sense of humour. Whether this page is the Styrian or Alpine version of the famous Viennese humour ("Wiener Schmäh"), or a superb piece of deliberate self-irony, or a manifestation of the Austrian ability to unconsciously expose ourselves to ridicule - I am not sure.

Go Frank, go!

Yesterday Leaf Rapids in northern Manitoba became the first Canadian town banning plastic bags. That is, the ban of single-use plastic bags such as they are palmed off on you everywhere here. Instead Leaf Rapids will introduce re-usable bags which will be purchasable for 99 cents (article). So they're basically getting the same system we have in Austria. Respect!

I wish, they would introduce it in Edmonton as well. Also it would be funny if a store pretended it had adopted this measure over night and you could watch the face and reaction of local people - who usually leave the supermarket with 4, 5, 6 or more bags - when they suddenly were asked to pay 5 bucks! (Of course as a good tree-hugging central European I go shopping with my spacious backpack, take as little plastic bags as possible and then re-use them at home in the litter bin.)

Anyway, I heard this story yesterday morning on the radio - obviously some people (notably the plastic industry) were not amused and attacked paper bags (although this is sort of off topic) by framing the slogan: "Paper is the new fur - stop the hunt for trees!" Haha. :-)

Seriously, they are crazy these Canadians. By now the snow is almost completely gone and apparently to them this means it's summer and it's warm. It isn't. Temperatures are between 0 to 3 to 6 degrees. Nevertheless I see people walking to university in shorts or Capri pants and flip flops. Unbelievable! Well I guess they are well trained by constantly wearing fewer clothes than required during the winter. This is my new theory about climate in Canada: Actually the weather is fairly bearable but Canadians just don't know how to dress properly and, therefore, freeze all the time (apart from three to four summer months), which leads them to the conviction that in their country it's frigging freezing cold almost the whole year round..

Was den Sommer betrifft, sind wir euch zeitlich voraus. Die Betonung liegt auf zeit-lich. Sommerzeit-lich, um genau zu sein. Wir haben hier nämlich bereits in der Nacht von Samstag auf Sonntag die Uhren eine Stunde vor gestellt.

Bisher geschah das am gleichen Tag wie im Rest der Welt - zumindest in jenem Rest, der bei dem Spaß mitmacht. Es gibt ja Staaten, die dieses Prozedere boykottieren, unter anderem sogar einige kanadische Provinzen. Saskatchewan etwa wechselt anstatt der Zeit lieber die Zeitzone. Eigentlich liegt es in der gleichen Zeitzone wie der östliche Nachbar Manitoba, weil Saskatchewan aber nicht an der Uhr dreht, fällt die Provinz für die restliche Hälfte des Jahres praktisch in die gleiche Zeitzone wie das westlich gelegene Alberta!

Weil wir schon dabei sind, kann mir jemand innerhalb von 10 Sekunden sagen, wie viele Stunden Unterschied zwischen mir und euch ist, bis auch ihr in Sommerzeit tickt? 10, 9, 8, 7..

Das aber nur nebenbei. Die Vorverlegung der so genannten "daylight saving time" um 2 1/2 Wochen geht - man höre und staune - auf eine Initiative aus Amerika zurück, um noch mehr Energie zu sparen. Ich bin mir sicher die Nachbar im Süden wissen es zu schätzen, aus Energiespargründen eine Stunde früher aus den tropisch (Alaska) beziehungsweise eisig (Louisiana) klimatisierten Büros zu entfliehen, in ihre fetten SUV's zu steigen, und nach Hause zu brausen, um den Rest des Abends vor Fernseher oder Computer zu verbringen, welche man tagsüber der Einfachheit halber laufen ließ, zumindest aber auf Standby hielt. Energie sparen rules!

Aber nein, nicht dass hier noch der Eindruck entsteht, ich wäre ein Gegner der Sommerzeit. Im Gegenteil. Ein Segen, ein Segen! War das schön gestern, die Bibliothek um halb 6 zu verlassen, einen Kaffee trinken zu gehen, und um halb 7 noch immer Tageslicht zu geießen! Warum können wir nicht das ganze Jahr Sommerzeit haben? An die - zum Glück kaum vorhandenen - unverbesserlichen unter euch, die es wider besseres Wissen nicht lassen können, mich immer wieder mal mit sinnlosen Petitionen zu belästigen: Das ist eure Gelegenheit. Her mit der Petition "Sommerzeit Forever" - ich unterschreib' sofort!

Wie bindet ihr eigentlich eure Schuhe? Ich habe es so gelernt, als Ausgangsposition eine Schlaufe zu haben, mit dem losen Ende rundherum zu fahren und dann die zweite Schleife zu bilden. Ihr nicht?

Gestern sah ich im Fernsehen "Raising Helen" (deutscher Titel: "Liebe auf Umwegen"). Dort wurde es so erklärt, dass man zuerst zwei Schleifen (= ein Bunny mit zwei süßen Hasenohren) macht und man dann mit der einen um die andere herumfährt. Leif hat es genau so gelernt.

Bisher hätte ich eigentlich keinen Zweifel gehabt, dass unsere Methode des Schuhe Zubindens international wäre..

Und noch eine inhaltliche Bemerkung, zum Film die ich mir nicht verkneifen kann. Demnach ist die abschließende Lektion, welche die Adoptivmutter erst zur Vollblutmama macht, jene, dem 15(!) jährigen Mädchen auf die Frage "Why?" (warum sie nicht mit ihrem Freund schlafen dürfe), bestimmt "Because I said so!" (Punktum.) zu antworten. Ja genau, so wird's gemacht! Pfff...

Actually I wanted to tell you my story about yesterdays little trip downtown. I love those adventures! Kinga called me (in fact she called Leif who woke me up) because she planned to go to Chinatown to experience Chinese New Year. As this was a spontaneous decision she had no idea when it actually started in China and when or where any festivities would be going on here. So we arrived at Chinatown at about noontime and there was: Nothing. Nobody. The streets were as dead as any other part of central Edmonton any other day.

So we walked back towards Canada place had a quick look into St. Barbara Russian Orthodox church with it’s colourful icons and arrived at Jasper Avenue. We were about to walk on to the LRT station when we suddenly spotted sculptures on the opposite side of the street, which we were sure hadn’t been there the day of our visit to Sacred Heart (of story which, it’s a disgrace, I still haven’t told you). So we crossed the street. And thus started what could have been a page long story about art, culture, religion.. I tried it yesterday and today but I failed miserably. It seems these days my mind and my muse are not very productive.

So I just leave it for now, wait whether I manage to make something out of it or not. But to leave you at least with a bit more than nothing I give you the pictures of the four statues: Do they look familiar or not? If the former, any idea why? By which country or culture was the artist inspired? Is there any logical connection between the different statues? Is it just variations of a theme or a whole story? Such were the questions we asked ourselves on the spot and if you want to you could now walk a bit in my shoes. Look and feel and think. And write. What do you see? Real knowledge or pure guesses it doesn't matter. Or if you're not sure but curious enough to use the art of googling - tell me how you suceeded..

I’ve just come home from going out. For the first time I’ve been at the German Club; not the university’s but the real Edmontonian one – although maybe a third of the people were from the U of A one. (Bari is really fantastic as a president, our president, I may say as I'm a regular member. :-) The Edmonton German Club - or German Canadian Cultural Association (GCCA) to be precise - tries to set up a new thing, a monthly so called “Feier Abend” with German beer and German and European dance music. On the invitation it said quite ironically “... and you think there is nothing for people under 50 at the German Club.“ – which is exactly the German’s (as well as the Austrian’s, only that their Club is again way smaller) problem. They are getting older and older, their children are Canadians – and unless the Club manages to set up something successful now it will be vanished in 10 to 15 years.

Well, at least for me it was a good start; I had a lot of fun. I just hope the boss doesn't find out that I'm partying with the Prussian enemy otherwise I'll be immediately kicked out of the institute. ;-) On the other hand - I think I've met almost as many Austrians today as Germans..

The first funny thing was that shortly after I arrived (I was late of course) the organiser of the evening showed us very quickly some dancing steps and moves. When I saw them I immediately thought – and said to one of our German Club: „That looks very much like DJ Ötzi to me!“ (which of course didn’t mean anything to her). As soon as the music started, of course: „Hey Baby! Uh, ah! I wanna..“ I fled very quickly from the dancefloor, but – the others stayed, and did a very good job:

I went to the bar instead and got a beer, and of course couldn’t resist to remark to the organiser: „You know that’s pretty telling about who’s the real culture nation if you need an Austrian to get some atmosphere.“ Kidding, of course. To talk about culture in relation to DJ Ötzi, well.. By the way I was surprised today when I read that he jumped from 0 to 1 in Austrian charts and from 0 to 3 in Germany. And I was sincerely shocked when I went to youtube and listened to the song..

WHAT! What the hell is that? Are you kidding me? This is Number 1? I mean Ö3 sucks, but this? I think I have to consider whether I should stay in Canada for a bit longer..

That’s it for now – it’s 3am and I really need to sleeeep! But I hope I have time to continue writing tomorrow, there'd be another a bit more serious topic to talk about..

I just got an e-mail from Alex (or rather Alejandro) - one of the Mexicans I went to Banff with - about a party going on this weekend:

It's a Semáforos party (semáforo is the word in spanish for traffic light) so all the people must be wearing something red, yellow or green.

What color to wear?

The color of your outfit will represent your "availability".
If you decide to go accompained (by your boyfriend, girlfriend or beloved one) wear something RED, that means "stop" you're not looking to hook up with someone.
If you wear YELLOW, that means you are on a "maybe" status, available to meet people.
And if you are looking for the love of your life or at lest someone to have a good time with, to get you warm during this cold winter, or someone to spend San Valentin's day with wear GREEN (go, go ahead, good to go) and let everybody know.

Haha! That idea is sooo funny! I've never heard of Semáforos parties. (Das fällt dann wohl tatsächlich in den Bereich der Verkehrs-Regelung, oder? :-) It would definitely be fun to see how that works. However, I'm facing two severe problems: Firstly, on Friday there's the Carnival party of the German and Scandinavian club and I'm not sure whether I'm already fit enough on Saturday. (After all I'm old now!) Secondly, if I decide to go, I would have to dye my hair, otherwise people will think I'm wearing a a red hat which would be a contradiction to my yellow or green shirt!

PS: A few birthday photos should be following soon.

So, jetzt habe ich auch nach kanadischer Zeit Geburtstag! Und er begann, wie er nicht besser beginnen hätte können: Mit Walzer! Ganz zufällig fiel nämlich der Johann Strauss Ball, auf den 3. Februar. Im Vergleich zum ungarischen vom November (den ich nachlässigerweise unerwähnt ließ) war dieser insbesondere deshalb interessanter, da Matthias und ich gewissen Gästen vorgestellt wurden, etwa dem österreichischen Konsul, der aus Ottawa gekommen war, dem Präsidenten des österreichischen Klubs aus Calgary oder einem langgedienten Funktionär der Edmontoner Johann-Strauss-Foundation (die jährlich kanadische MusikerInnen nach Österreich entsendet, auf dass sie ihre Künste unter unseren für das Schöne begnadeten Söhnen und Töchtern perfektionieren mögen.) Letzterer wurde im übrigen heute für seine langjährigen Verdienste vom Konsul mit einem Orden der Republik bedacht, den er zu seiner beachtlichen Sammlung am Anzug hinzufügte. Angeblich ist unter all diesen Auszeichnungen auch eine der SA, die der Herr noch immer mehr oder weniger stolz auf seiner Brust zur Schau stellen soll. Während des Gesprächs mit ihm (seiner Verwandtschaft mütterlichseits hat übrigens die Brauerei Mayr in Kirchdorf gehört, ist die Welt nicht ein Dorf?!) lenkte ich natürlich den Blick auf die Orden, konnte aber mit meinem Laienblick nichts augenscheinlich Skandalöses erkennen. Jedoch stach unter all den runden Dingern ganz links eines in der Form des eisernen Kreuzes hervor; Hakenkreuzsymbole (die es eigentlich hätte haben müssen) sah ich jedoch keine. Wie auch immer.

Hier noch ein Foto von mir, inklusive des in Ermangelung eines einzigen weißen Hemds neu erstandenen Exemplars - gekauft natürlich diesen Donnerstag, schließlich weiß ich doch erst seit zwei Monaten, dass ich in für diesen Ball eines haben sollte. Zwingend nötig wäre es letztendlich nicht gewesen, aber ich mag es. < image "3617-suit" deleted > Früher habe ich Anzüge und formelle Anlässe gehasst wie die Pest, aber ich muss sagen, inzwischen finde ich manchmal - so wie heute - Gefallen daran, mich fein anzuziehen, und dann einen Abend unter anderen fein angezogenen Menschen, in gediegener Atmosphäre, mit exquisitem Essen, Musik und (für manche BesucherInnen) Tanz zu genießen. Vor allem natürlich dann, wenn es gratis ist. (Ein Ticket für diesen Ball kostet um die 150 Dollar / 100 Euro). Ein paar mehr Fotos von geschniegelten Joachims, gestriegelten Kollegen und attraktiven Kolleginnen sollten demnächst im Außenlager zu finden sein (die Fotos werden dann verlinkt sein).

So jetzt geht es ab ins Bett, die richtige Geburtstagsfeier steigt dann heute Abend. Ich werde mit ein paar Leuten indisch Essen gehen. Mehr dazu folgt vermutlich..

I had such a good time at the German and Scandinavian table yesterday! By the way, since last week I've officially become a member of the former and thus am in possession of a club card - which is (and I can't deny I noticed that with some regret) decorated with a German flag and three German eagles, while for Austrian or Swiss symbols there was no space. - Anyway. It was exactly the latter element of our triumvirate which was the reason for my good time:

There was this girl who spoke standard German with quite a strong Canadian accent. When talking about where she learned German she answered it was in a non-German environment and pointed to the Swiss flag.
"You learned German in the French part of Switzerland?"
"No - in the German part, just that that's not German at all."
"Where did you learn German?"
"Well actually I'm Austrian."
A friendly "Oh a neighbour!" followed. She was very happy to hear that I was confident to understand her if she talked Schwyzerdütsch. And there they were, the "gsi" (gewesen) the "Lüt" (Leute) the "vaschto" (verstehe). Amazing! I'm of course no expert on Swiss German but to me it sounded simply perfect, I couldn't hear any accent at all. (And she stayed there only for a year!) It was so funny. She talked her German and I spoke mine - and I think nobody around had any clue what we were talking about.

Later that evening we ended up in the Hudson's pub (as usual). I bumped into a couple of exchange students who were with some Canadians I didn't know. One girl started to talk to me and when hearing I'm Austrian she started to talk in very shaky German: "Ik spreken bisschen Deutsch weil mein Eltern sind Switzerland". I first thought: Ok another one of these second generation immigrants who have lost their parent's language. But then - after just a few sentences the accent increasingly had turned from Canadian to Swiss. When I smiled and told her she apologised but I encouraged her that I understand her well. Then it started: Suddenly it was a waterfall of Swiss German. (And it was very cute that she kept asking over and over again whether I understood what she had just said.)

That was so funny! Of course everybody says Swiss German is a language on its own, yet, I was simply amazed that the language ability differs that much! As for Swiss and Austrian native speakers I'd generally assume that it may take us some effort to change our pronunciation to "Hochdeutsch" (at least for me) but still it's our mother tongue and grammatically we're more or less perfect. In contrast for these two girls it's obviously really two different foreign languages and one they know perfect, the other they don't...